The Cost of Being “Low‑Maintenance”: Why the People Who Seem Easy Often Struggle the Most
You’ve always been the kind of person people say is “easy to get along with.” The kind who doesn’t ask for much, just rolls with the punches, and keeps going. For moms, that often translates into silently absorbing the mental load, keeping tensions low, not making waves. Over time, you start feeling invisible in your own life. At The Nurtured Theory, I see this pattern again and again: women who boast they’re “low‑maintenance” but inside are running on fumes.
1. What “Low‑Maintenance” Often Really Means
You rarely ask for help.
You downplay your emotions so others won’t worry.
You accommodate everyone else’s needs while yours pile up.
You keep your head down and your calendar full.
What looks like resilience can disguise self‑neglect, persistent emotional burden, and buildup of internal stress.
When motherhood hits, your “easy” mode doesn’t protect you, it exposes you.
You say yes to every playdate because it’s “no big deal,” then feel exhausted all week.
You manage everyone’s schedule, household, emotional climate—and never schedule you.
You don’t want to seem needy or high‑maintenance, so you avoid asking for support, even when you need it.
This results in quiet overwhelm, resentment toward your partner, body tension, and a persistent feeling of “should be enjoying this more.”
Why “Easy” Isn’t Always Healthy
Calling yourself “easy”, “low‑maintenance”, or “go with the flow” or saying “I don’t care, that sounds good” sound positive, until you slowly see they’re helping you stay small. Here’s the thing... when your emotional needs wants and desires are ignored over again, burnout, anxiety, depression, and self confidence all take a huge hit.
How Therapy Can Help You Reconnect With Yourself
You don’t need to change who you are. You need to reclaim why you became “easy” and build from there.
Here’s what we’ll work on:
Naming what your “easy mode” was keeping you safe from and its cost.
Aknowledge when your nervous system is running on empty even if you say “I’m fine.”
Learning small, steady ways to honor your unique needs without turning into someone you’re not.
Aligning your values with your everyday choices so you parent and live with clarity, not just survive.
At The Nurtured Theory, I offer virtual therapy for moms across Oregon who are done feeling invisible, stretched thin, and disconnected from themselves. If you’ve always prided yourself on being the low‑maintenance one and yet you’re exhausted. I’d love to walk alongside you.