When “Doing It All” Comes at the Cost of You

You’ve always been the dependable one, the helper, the planner, the one who keeps everything running. But lately, even small asks feel heavy. You say yes because it’s easier than the guilt that comes with saying no. You keep the peace, but inside, resentment builds.

You tell yourself this is just how life is until one day you realize you can’t keep showing up for everyone else while disappearing from yourself.

Why Boundaries Feel So Hard

For many women, boundaries aren’t the problem… guilt is.
We’re raised to be thoughtful, accommodating, and kind. Somewhere along the way, that became confused with self-sacrifice.

Setting a boundary can feel selfish. Saying no feels like rejection. And holding your line can feel impossible when you’ve spent years putting everyone else first.

If you’re a mom, that pressure doubles. The mental load never ends, and any moment of rest can feel undeserved. You want to be nurturing, but not depleted. Supportive, but not stretched thin. Boundaries help you find that middle ground.

What Boundaries Work Looks Like

In therapy, we’ll look at the deeper patterns underneath your boundaries — or lack of them. Together, we’ll:

• Understand where people-pleasing and perfectionism come from

• Explore how guilt and fear show up when you try to say no

• Build emotional safety so you can hold your boundaries calmly, not defensively

• Reconnect to your values so your boundaries reflect what actually matters to you

The goal isn’t to become rigid. It’s to live in a way that feels balanced, authentic, and sustainable — where your compassion includes yourself.

When You’re a Mom, Boundaries Look Different

Boundaries in motherhood aren’t just about saying no — they’re about protecting the energy and presence you do have.
They might look like:

• Letting go of the idea you need to do it all

• Saying no to activities that drain your family more than they help

• Creating moments of rest without guilt

• Recognizing when “helpful advice” from others crosses your limits

When you hold steady boundaries, you teach your kids what self-respect looks like in real life.

My Approach to Boundaries Therapy

I use a trauma-informed, attachment-based approach to help you understand your patterns with care and curiosity — not shame.
We’ll work on:

• Identifying where your boundaries blur and why

• Healing the part of you that fears letting others down

• Learning communication tools that feel natural and kind

• Practicing boundaries that hold up even under stress

You’ll leave sessions with a clearer sense of what feels right — and the confidence to honor it.

Virtual Boundaries Therapy Across Oregon

Sessions are fully virtual, meeting you wherever you are, between work calls, nap times, or the few quiet minutes you get to yourself. Whether you’re in Portland, Bend, Eugene, or anywhere across Oregon, therapy can fit your real life, not add pressure to it.

Ready to Set Boundaries That Actually Stick?

You don’t have to keep choosing between your needs and everyone else’s.
Therapy can help you create boundaries that protect your peace, without losing your warmth or connection.

I’m currently accepting new clients across Oregon.

Book a free consult below to see if we’re a good fit.